I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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