We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
