so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize