every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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