Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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