I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
