Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
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I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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