Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
third nipple confirmed
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
