Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
