He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize