It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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