Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Shame - the story of my life.
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