You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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