Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So here I am, sexting at work.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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