Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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