i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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