Do you still have your period?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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