HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It's never too late to be topless.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
