dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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