Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
