spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
