just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
