The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
