So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
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There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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