So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
