He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
