Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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