don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
