i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
