I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
These tits shall not be calmed
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
