Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
