Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
