dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Randomize
