Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
