His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
