Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
