don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
