I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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