i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
