but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
