so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
