All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
