she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
