She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
