so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
