Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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