You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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