It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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