member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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