thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
