I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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