My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
