Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
