I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
