Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
