But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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