Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
