She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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