i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
