I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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