I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
