Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
