I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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