i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
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we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
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Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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