bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
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Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
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omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.