Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
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He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
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I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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