did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Watching her eat just hurts me
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
