Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too

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  (781): i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too http://tfl.nu/262s
  Replies (17) Good night (3447) Bad night (703)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.

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  (313): I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life. http://tfl.nu/7obq
  Replies (9) Good night (780) Bad night (4279)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.

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  (469): Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate. http://tfl.nu/3qld
  Replies (15) Good night (6943) Bad night (787)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?

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  (225): is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off? http://tfl.nu/2g62
  Replies (81) Good night (4351) Bad night (5531)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.

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  (360): I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina. http://tfl.nu/jli8
  Replies (55) Good night (1362) Bad night (9978)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.

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  (225): I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one. http://tfl.nu/gflz
  Replies (11) Good night (5053) Bad night (1269)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes

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  (+44): what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes http://tfl.nu/x7um
  Replies (7) Good night (3420) Bad night (1305)
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  (585): View more from New York

  remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.

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  (585): remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight. http://tfl.nu/4o55
  Replies (16) Good night (6770) Bad night (997)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.

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  (860): Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success. http://tfl.nu/qxy1
  Replies (8) Good night (3473) Bad night (839)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?

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  (802): Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin? http://tfl.nu/zb3y
  Replies (20) Good night (3170) Bad night (1015)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Are we still banned from the library?

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  (313): Are we still banned from the library? http://tfl.nu/xtiu
  Replies (12) Good night (2535) Bad night (809)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.

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  (832): Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome. http://tfl.nu/loiz
  Replies (5) Good night (2690) Bad night (678)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.

  (1+44): View more from

  Doesn't she keep a spare?

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.

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  (+44): You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys. (1+44): Doesn't she keep a spare? (+44): Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans. http://tfl.nu/5sic
  Replies (7) Good night (3022) Bad night (1341)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.

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  (608): AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY. http://tfl.nu/l84n
  Replies (2) Good night (856) Bad night (491)
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  (359): View more from

  A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.

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  (359): A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying. http://tfl.nu/5q6d
  Replies (3) Good night (476) Bad night (680)

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