ADVERTISEMENT

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.

  Fav 15 3440 870

  share tweet
  

• (740): View more from Ohio

  i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one

  Fav 19 3980 1231

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (847): View more from Illinois

  I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.

  Fav 32 1244 5082

  share tweet
  

• (618): View more from Illinois

  he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.

  Fav 12 5470 1394

  share tweet
  
• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (845): View more from New York

  i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room

  Fav 13 1200 3728

  share tweet
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow

  Fav 67 8958 2435

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (540): View more from Virginia

  I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.

  Fav 9 4717 1266

  share tweet
  

• (804): View more from Virginia

  I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  pants will make it better? really?

  Fav 7 2587 986

  share tweet
  

• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all

  Fav 8 1642 780

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (416): View more from Toronto

  Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Would it have been easier if he talked to her?

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.

  Fav 8 3998 1018

  share tweet
  

• (319): View more from Iowa

  I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds

  Fav 5 285 672

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.

  Fav 1 407 201

  share tweet
  

• (504): View more from Louisiana

  You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.

  Fav 0 279 111

  share tweet
  

• (801): View more from Utah

  Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?

  Fav 2 126 92

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (941): View more from Florida

  Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.

  Fav 0 13 39

  share tweet
  

Randomize