dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize