I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
